Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Baby Blues,pinks, browns, ect.....

Well this is kinda hard for me to admit but those who know me the best may already know this.
Today I was home sick from work and Jeremiah is gone ,(still at a basket ball tournament.) So I have watched TV, slept, slept some more, and just surfed the web. A couple of months ago. Mrs. Vicky, my Pastor's wife gave me a book called A Song For Baby. It is a book of poems about how a family loves a baby. She gave me this book with a really sweet letter that said that GOD give things to those who believe and to those who act on their belief. So in the letter she said to start getting ready for a baby.
Let me give you some history. Jeremiah and I have been married for 5 1/2 years , we did not care if we had a baby right away so did nothing to prevent. After three month of marriage found out that I was expecting , but when we found out it was to late , I was having a miscarriage. Then about three month after that I found out I was pregnant again and we were really excited. We told every one then about two mouths later I had another miscarriage. We could not get pregnant for almost a year after the second one the fertility Doc said that we had gotten pregnant to close together . We found out that my progesterone was low and I started to take Clomid. I finally got pregnant again and this time, we did not tell any one I wanted to wait. I went a little longer than the last and then lost that one also. I some times think of what they would look like, how they would act, what they would be doing. Our first one would have been five years old, the second one would have been four and the third one would have been two.
Last year I wanted to make my self look better and I needed to lose some weight so I got cracking on that and when I lost 60lbs I found our I was pregnant again. We were really excited and scared . We did not tell any one, only they people that needed to know. Because my Doc said any thing unusual and I would be on bed rest, from all the miscarriages I am high risk now. Everything was going great. My levels were good, they could see the baby on the ultrasound, it looked like a little flutter on the screen. We saw the baby everything was great, but I had to come back every week to make sure. We still did not know the due date for sure. We were going to tell every one at church once we knew the due date. So I went back the week after and they could not find the baby any more. By this time I was almost done with the first trimester. The longest I had ever gone. I was devastated. I don't think my husband knew what to do. I said I never wanted to try again. ( I knew that was just the sadness talking)
That pregnancy was I think the best and worst thing that ever happend to me. I know that GOD allows things to happen believe me I know . But no one told me that I could go through post-pardom. I went through it too. Wow I will never again think bad of some one who had ever gone through that again.
Any way to say all that Mrs. Vicky told Jeremiah and I that she is praying that we have a baby in 2009 ( or at least get pregnent with one) She told us to get the babies room ready. To put the crib up, get the room painted, get it all ready to bring the baby home. I have to say that I did not do it right away. I did not want to set the crib up I bought some things for the room but I would not put things up. ThenCheck Spelling one day I came home and Jeremiah was beaming. He had put the CRIB UP . I was horrified. I just starting crying. But then the more I looked at the crib I wanted to get the room ready. I am so glad that Jeremiah had more faith then me because the crib would still not be up.
Any way sorry for the long drawn out story. I found what I want to do the room in. I want to do it in a jungle theme. But the grown up way not the baby way and I was just looking on line and found some pics of what I think I would like. Here they are, well this is the one that I found on line so far. I got a great idea from a friend to make some of it.


  1. Ok so this was so not wordless wed. Sorry!


    this is the link to the site I found the baby room stuff on!

  3. I am praying as well that you two can have the baby that you long for. I'm sure it is a hard road to walk. But God walks it with you. :)

  4. I love this nursery that you have pictured! It's so you! Every day you are in my prayers, girl, and you know that some little ones that love to be "borrowed" are just a few minutes away! :)
    I'm already starting to think of how I will do your nursery artwork. . . :)

  5. Thanks for the compliment on my blog. :) I paid Kina Fink to do it for me. She's fantastic!

  6. Hey You, You know we pray for you all but we will pray more for God to Bless you all with the desire of your hearts! We Love You! Keep up the good work!

  7. Oh I forgot to tell you ....... I Love the whole Nursery Set! You have great taste!

  8. Time for a new post Rachel:) I can say that because I've finally posted myself,lol.

    Love the new background.

  9. Hey!1 I am putting you on my prayer list!! I have 4 other ladies in my church having the same problems as you!! I will pray the Lords will be done :-)