Baby Blues,pinks, browns, ect.....

Well this is kinda hard for me to admit but those who know me the best may already know this.
Today I was home sick from work and Jeremiah is gone ,(still at a basket ball tournament.) So I have watched TV, slept, slept some more, and just surfed the web. A couple of months ago. Mrs. Vicky, my Pastor's wife gave me a book called A Song For Baby. It is a book of poems about how a family loves a baby. She gave me this book with a really sweet letter that said that GOD give things to those who believe and to those who act on their belief. So in the letter she said to start getting ready for a baby.
Let me give you some history. Jeremiah and I have been married for 5 1/2 years , we did not care if we had a baby right away so did nothing to prevent. After three month of marriage found out that I was expecting , but when we found out it was to late , I was having a miscarriage. Then about three month after that I found out I was pregnant again and we were really excited. We told every one then about two mouths later I had another miscarriage. We could not get pregnant for almost a year after the second one the fertility Doc said that we had gotten pregnant to close together . We found out that my progesterone was low and I started to take Clomid. I finally got pregnant again and this time, we did not tell any one I wanted to wait. I went a little longer than the last and then lost that one also. I some times think of what they would look like, how they would act, what they would be doing. Our first one would have been five years old, the second one would have been four and the third one would have been two.
Last year I wanted to make my self look better and I needed to lose some weight so I got cracking on that and when I lost 60lbs I found our I was pregnant again. We were really excited and scared . We did not tell any one, only they people that needed to know. Because my Doc said any thing unusual and I would be on bed rest, from all the miscarriages I am high risk now. Everything was going great. My levels were good, they could see the baby on the ultrasound, it looked like a little flutter on the screen. We saw the baby everything was great, but I had to come back every week to make sure. We still did not know the due date for sure. We were going to tell every one at church once we knew the due date. So I went back the week after and they could not find the baby any more. By this time I was almost done with the first trimester. The longest I had ever gone. I was devastated. I don't think my husband knew what to do. I said I never wanted to try again. ( I knew that was just the sadness talking)
That pregnancy was I think the best and worst thing that ever happend to me. I know that GOD allows things to happen believe me I know . But no one told me that I could go through post-pardom. I went through it too. Wow I will never again think bad of some one who had ever gone through that again.
Any way to say all that Mrs. Vicky told Jeremiah and I that she is praying that we have a baby in 2009 ( or at least get pregnent with one) She told us to get the babies room ready. To put the crib up, get the room painted, get it all ready to bring the baby home. I have to say that I did not do it right away. I did not want to set the crib up I bought some things for the room but I would not put things up. Then one day I came home and Jeremiah was beaming. He had put the CRIB UP . I was horrified. I just starting crying. But then the more I looked at the crib I wanted to get the room ready. I am so glad that Jeremiah had more faith then me because the crib would still not be up.
Any way sorry for the long drawn out story. I found what I want to do the room in. I want to do it in a jungle theme. But the grown up way not the baby way and I was just looking on line and found some pics of what I think I would like. Here they are, well this is the one that I found on line so far. I got a great idea from a friend to make some of it.

Ok so I really like to Google. I like to Google just nonsense things, like weird words, my own name and my husbands name. So I Googled Jeremiah's name today and I found this sermon place that he was on so I posted it to my blog. I just thought it was the coolest thing ever!!!!! Ok so I am really weird , but that is alright. I don't even care. Any way I hope you all enjoy my husband's sermon. Oh by the way Jeremiah found out I was doing the love dare on him because we were doing it to each other. So now we are doing it together and WOW what a difference it makes. It is still just as hard but so much easier if that makes sense. Every one should get this book !!!!

Sermon Player

Ok so I have posted some links for everyone. They are some things that I enjoy. One is to the book I was talking about , one is to my church. And one is to my life saver spot( I have a black berry) I am still trying to learn how to use it and when I don't get something I go over there and get some unanswered questions answered !

Sorry it has been a long time. I have so much to say but I have to remember everything. Right now half of my mouth feels like it is big as a n elephant. ( I went to the dentist to get a couple cavities filled.) Any way no one know unless I talk,or try to drink or try to eat, or try to smile or try ........well you get the picture.
I started to read this book called the LOVE DARE ( from the movie FIRE PROOF) I am on day four. All I can say is wow I have learned things in the four day that I did not know.
If you are not familiar with the movie Fire Proof, it's a movie made by the same people who made Facing the Giants . Any way Fire Proof is about a marriage that is about to be over, the thing about the movie is that it's real it deals with things that really happen in life and what marriages really go through. Well through out the movie the husband gets this book from his dad. It is a 40 day journey to help the marriage that has gone sour. The first day you just start our by not saying anything negative to your spouse. No matter what!!! Now that one is really harder than you think, because some times you just don't think before you speak and some thing you may not think is rude may really be rude. Every day you build on the one thing you did the day before. Today on top of not saying anything rude, ( you try to do this every day ) I have to ask Jeremiah what things he thinks are annoying about me and things that upset him and not tell him what I think about him.
In the four days that I have done this I have noticed that I think more before I say something. I think before I make a face or anything. My marriage is not about to be over but it is not where I want it to be. I think over time you forget and you get use to them being around. The book talks about how you use to do things and think about the other person while you were dating but then you get them and stop. We should never stop thinking and doing thing for the other. It is also a Bible study in it slef. The book is not KJV but I just use my own Bible and then write the verses in. But is does have a lot of Biblical princables in it.
I will try to blog every day or so to let you all know how it is going. Plus it gives me some where to write about it. I know that it will make my marriage better than every before. I have learned things about myself that I thought were really not problems; but pulling myself out of the picture and trying to love Jeremiah the way he is right now! Just by working on loving him I have seen some faults of mine that I am trying to change. It is not as easy as it looks. But I know that I will be a better person and better wife for it. Please pray for me as I start this journey . I hope some one is inspired to make their marriage better.